MY FIFTIETH BIRTHDAY

1997.
I turned fifty in June this year.
They say the fiftieth birthday is a great day in one’s life and needs to be celebrated.

Well, my great day did not turn out the way I thought it would.

To be frank I am a very sensitive and sentimental creature. I depend a lot on the love, care and concern of those I love - especially my family. They too know it.

That is why they make it a point to have dinner outside on my birthday every year. They don’t care much for hotel food. But they know I love it. Actually it is not the food. It is a real luxury not to worry about the menu, about the cooking and above all the washing and the cleaning. Now, as this dining out has become routine on my birthdays, what I enjoy most is the thought behind it.

I had a feeling that my fiftieth birthday was going to be an extra-grand affair. But I knew it wouldn’t be. My husband happened to be in Madras with a very busy schedule of dubbing and editing his latest film. My sons Bobby and Sanjay had to appear for different entrance exams that day - one for his M.D and the other for U.G.C. They would leave early in the morning and would be back only late. That left my daughter Thankam, my maid and myself at home to celebrate the “grand”day. No fun, no music, no dining out.

I went to bed the previous day quite depressed. I thought this was going to be the dullest day in my life. After supper I left the others watching some late programme on TV. Sadly and slowly I slipped into slumber.

The telephone woke me up early morning. It was my husband who never bothered to get up earlier than 9 o’clock on a Sunday morning. “Hello”, he said “Happy Birthday”.

I wanted to sulk. But he had really gone out of the way to be the first one to wish me. I shouldn’t.

“Not so happy without you around.” I said.

“You know I couldn’t help it. Now, what’s special today?”

“Nothing - with nobody at home.”

He could read my tone. “We are postponing the celebration to a combined one next month, okay?” he assured. His birthday fell in July.

As I walked into the kitchen, the aroma of a freshly baked cake seeped into my nostrils. There it stood on the dining table with the white butter cream telling me “Happy Birthday Darling Amma” against a dark chocolate icing! It was Thankam’s surprise for me. She had made it herself with the aid of the maid after making sure I had gone to sleep. Later she told me how she had closed all the doors leading to my room, and that it was all over only by 2 a.m. My heart went out to her. I sneaked into her room. She was in deep sleep. I planted a kiss on her forehead.

Sanjay had to catch an early train. After dropping him at the station, Bobby offered to take me to my parents on a flash visit before he left. It was as though he had read my mind. It was just a 20-minute drive and I always made it a point to visit them on my birthday every year. I was wondering if I could make it this year. The offer came like a birthday gift.

Back home, with Bobby also gone, I drifted slowly into the silent hours of a dull Sunday when the telephone rang. A totally unexpected call from an old student of mine. She introduced herself to me and told that she was now working for Doordarshan. Then she asked me if she could interview me for one of her T.V programmes.

“Doordarshan?…and me?” Public performances embarrass me. But still I felt flattered and important. It was not the publicity part of it but the awareness that she thought me good enough for her purpose. [To this day I do not know when it was telecast. I didn’t ask her when it would be - because I couldn’t gather the guts to watch it with the feeling that hundreds might be watching it along with me elsewhere.] Thankam too got excited and started lecturing me on what I should wear and how I should fare.

Another unusual thing that happened on that day was an unprecedented number of phone calls from my students. They all called to wish me on my birthday. The usual calls from friends and relatives I could understand. But I don’t know how they got the wind of it. It was really a heartening experience!

The interviewers came and I went. I don’t know how I fared. Before I was out of its impact the doorbell rang. “From your husband in Madras”, a courier stood before me with a cute little parcel.

I opened it. In disbelief I looked at the beautiful HMT watch with its beautiful golden strap. Even I wasn’t aware of my secret wish for a watch like that until I saw it. How did he know?

The evening was busy. My in-laws close by called in for a casual visit. They were all praise for Thankam’s cake and their greetings came like a bonus.

There was so much warmth and affection surrounding me from far and near that day. As I got into bed that night I suddenly realized that I didn’t get any time at all that day to entertain my anticipated depression.

It was a great day indeed!