GOOD BYE SWEET MOTHER

Mother Teresa died at the ripe old age of 87 on the 5th of September 1997.

She had been through the throes of so many ailments for the last few years. She had been pulled back from the gates of death so many times. Everybody knew the end would come any time.

Yet, for me, the news came like a bolt of thunder from a clear blue sky. The untimely death of Princess Diana of Wales and all the stories that followed was the sensation of that week. I too, like many, didn’t want to miss any of it and sat glued to the television that Friday night when the BBC jerked out with “we have just heard that Mother Teresa has died. Please stay with us till we confirm the news.”

As the reality of the news seeped into me what surged inside was a deep feeling of guilt - and anger - towards myself.

Mother Teresa is the only human idol I have had in my life. She became my idol from the very first time I heard about her. If there was one human being I yearned to see in my life it was she. I have wished a thousand times secretly and aloud to be able to go to Calcutta just to see her, stand beside her and touch her if possible. But there were always excuses for not going. Now, with deep regret, I realize the injustice I have done to myself. I could, if I really wanted it, afford the money and the time to make a journey up to Calcutta. I have lost the chance of that fulfillment forever.

Everytime I heard that she was ill a strong and sincere prayer went up to God to spare her for us…and I know the whole world prayed with me. The world needed her very badly. Even her presence on T.V had a spiritual serenity that overpowered me-and I am sure it was not my experience alone.

The power that made Mother a miracle was her faith. She had infinite faith in goodness. She herself was the embodiment of goodness. But she believed that goodness was latent even in the hardest of hearts. With this faith of hers she moved millions around the globe.

She was the embodiment of love. She loved Jesus above all and saw Jesus in the poor, the sick and the lonely. She showed supreme loyalty to her Lord and Master. Nothing inhibited her. With that real dedication she worked wonders. With only five rupees and a heart full of human kindness and love Mother set out to the slums and gutters of Calcutta and gave it in abundance to those who needed it. Her belief, her action and her prayer was all of a piece. Doing unto others she acted her way into prayer…and praying she believed her way into action. I don’t think she ever believed in speeches. But when she spoke, her words were very simple and direct. She was always brief but invariably she spoke of love and service and penetrated people with the sharpness of her conviction.

Mother had not the glamour of beauty, the halo of royalty or the magic of fantasy about her. She never asked for the name and fame that came after her. But the small and frail figure of this weak old lady carried within her the tremendous strength of pure goodness and godly love. She proved to us goodness and love never go out of fashion. Her very presence was purifying and people could not but bow their heads to it.

Her selflessness held back prejudices of all kinds - social, political or religious - and made her the beloved of all races, faiths and parties. She was a candle that burned with a steady flame in a stormy world. Mother is gone but the fire of that candle has poured itself to many little candles all over the world.

This is only a shadow of what I feel in my heart. I could go on endlessly about this beloved person who was so real and so close to my heart though I haven’t seen her even once. She was sent specially to us from heaven to teach us once more the lesson of love - the lesson number one to turn this world into a haven of peace and joy.

Mother, my soul is on my knees at your memory, would ever be. Now as I look back at a dream that would never be realized for me, I have to console myself with the thought that I lived while you lived, under the same blue sky watching the same moon and the same stars that you have watched - at least fifty years of my life.